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This should come as nothing of a surprise to anyone with a few working braincells, but shiny, happy match-3 game Candy Crush Saga is bullshit. The game itself is allegedly free to play, and it kinda is – only it’s designed so that you can’t finish any but the very earliest levels without paying for in-game upgrades via micro transactions.

Now although I’m not a huge fan of micro-transactions and software trying to constantly nickle and dime me (especially in software I’ve already paid for – I’m looking at you Dirt 2/3) – if an application is free to download then I don’t fanatically object to it trying to entice me to purchase a few extras here and there to support a game I might enjoy. But this is where I do take issue: If you want to make any real progress in CCS it’s not optional at all to have to pay for items – without them your progress will be hideously, torturously slow – if any progress can be made at all.

The company who make the game (who I won’t link and namecheck) would no doubt claim that technically it’s possible to finish the game without making any in-game purchases. However I’d argue that it’s only technically possible in the same way that’s it’s technically possible to win fifty million on the lottery. Without that degree of good fortune, expect to play the same level over and over until you have no more lives left, at which point you can wait an hour or so for your lives to regenerate, or you can buy five more lives for 99 cents…

Or (and how about this for a deal) – you can buy a paintbrush to change normal candy into column/row destroying striped candy for a mere forty frickn’ dollars!

Ahahahahahaha… No.

So, do the right thing and uninstall that money-grubbin’ time-vampire – you’ll be glad that you did.

DeFRaG is a Quake III Arena mod where the goal is to remove ALL violence and replace it with skill. As such, the goal isn’t the most frags; it’s completing a level by shooting all the targets on walls, or getting from A to B in the fastest time possible (which is what the video below is about). Getting from A to B might sound easy, but I assure you, it is absolutely rock-solid hard – you need to abuse physics and keep your momentum up throughout an entire level to be able to, literally, leap over buildings in a single bound… Without that kind of speed, you’re going to be like Neo in the jump program

The only thing I can think of to which younger gamers (meaning those who’ve never played Q3A) might relate would be to think of it as an old-school version of Mirror’s Edge – with rocket launchers to assist you in your run… Only that actually makes it 10x harder, because you have to be spot on with where and when you use them as well as your regular aiming and jump timings.

Anyways, the point of this post is the 2008 DeFRaG world cup video “Trixo” below – which is all kinds of awesome… (Hint: Fullscreen makes this 10x cooler to watch).

Also, sweet riff on GLaDOS, no? =D

If you’ve ever played Team Meat’s sublime (and hard-as-nails) retro platformer Super Meat Boy your jaw will drop. ExoSA just absolutely kills this:

I’ve only watched up to chapter 5 so as to avoid spoilers – but honestly, this is just… incredible. I don’t even think I could accomplish this in my lifetime if I set out to do NOTHING ELSE but to beat this speedrun. Amazing.

Attempt a quickfix?

If you’re trying to run Minecraft in Linux and it’s failing with errors like:

wrong ELF class: ELFCLASS32 (Possible cause: architecture word width mismatch)

or

Could not find the main class: net.minecraft.Launcher.Frame

Then the chances are you can fix it up by performing the following actions:

• Set your LD_LIBRARY_PATH variable with:

  export LD_LIBRARY_PATH="the-correct-path-to-your-JRE-java-binary-which-is-NOT-usr/bin"

• (if needs be) Get rid of OpenJDK and install the official Sun/Oracle Java binaries if required.

Know how do all that? Awesome – carry on! Not so sure? Read on! ;-D

Setting the correct JRE location

First up, check if you have Java installed by typing java -version, if it comes up with something like the below, then you’re got Java installed, now we just need to find out where:

java version "1.7.0_07"
Java(TM) SE Runtime Environment (build 1.7.0_07-b10)
Java HotSpot(TM) 64-Bit Server VM (build 23.3-b01, mixed mode)

If you didn’t get anything similar to the above you might want to install the official Oracle Java implementation, which I put together a brief step-by-step for here.

Assuming you have some variety of the Java Virtual Machine (JVM) install, check if your LD_LIBRARY_PATH environment variable is set with:

printenv | grep LIBRARY

If it comes up empty, then we need to find out where Java’s installed and set it correctly. To get the correct path for where your particular Java install is located, you might be tempted to try running which java:

$ which java
/usr/bin/java

However, this is a little bit of a fib, as Java is part of the alternatives setup where we can have multiple versions installed at once – which means that /usr/bin/java is really a symbolic link to the true java location. To find where it’s really pointing we can either ask update-alternatives how it’s configured like so (and pick a version different version if we want to):

$ update-alternatives --config java
There are 2 choices for the alternative java (providing /usr/bin/java).
 
  Selection    Path                               Priority   Status
------------------------------------------------------------
  0            /usr/bin/gij-4.6                    1046      auto mode
  1            /usr/bin/gij-4.6                    1046      manual mode
* 2            /usr/lib/jvm/jdk1.7.0_07/bin/java   1         manual mode
 
Press enter to keep the current choice[*], or type selection number: 2

Or we can look closely at the /usr/bin/java symlink:

$ ls -alh /usr/bin/java
lrwxrwxrwx 1 root root 22 Aug 15 05:03 /usr/bin/java -> /etc/alternatives/java

Which if we then look closely at /etc/alternatives/java then points at:

ls -alh /etc/alternatives/java
lrwxrwxrwx 1 root root 33 Aug 15 16:37 /etc/alternatives/java -> /usr/lib/jvm/jdk1.7.0_07/bin/java

Same thing as what the alternatives config’s pointing at

Now that we have the correct path, we can set it in the following manner (remember to substitute your particular Java location into the below lines!):

For 64-bit Linux:

export LD_LIBRARY_PATH="/usr/lib/jvm/jdk1.7.0_07/jre/lib/amd64"

For 32-bit Linux:

export LD_LIBRARY_PATH="/usr/lib/jvm/jdk1.7.0_07/jre/lib/i386"

With that done, you should be able to see that it’s set by running:

printenv | grep LIBRARY

Which should give you something like:

$ printenv | grep LIBRARY
LD_LIBRARY_PATH=/usr/lib/jvm/jdk1.7.0_07/jre/lib/amd64

Finally, we should be fit to launch Minecraft like this (assuming the minecraft.jar file is in your home folder):

java -Xmx1024M -Xms512M -cp ~/minecraft.jar net.minecraft.LauncherFrame

Or, without setting the memory and classpath variables, like this:

java -jar ~/minecraft.jar

Be aware that the LD_LIBRARY path will only be set for the current session of the current shell, so you’ll have to re-set it a lot. A quick and easy way to do this is to just knock together a quick launcher script as below (substituting your paths in) and throw it in /usr/local/bin:

minecraft.sh

#!/bin/bash
export LD_LIBRARY_PATH="/usr/lib/jvm/jdk1.7.0_07/jre/lib/amd64"
java -Xmx1024M -Xms512M -cp ~/Games/Minecraft/minecraft.jar net.minecraft.LauncherFrame

Final Notes

Not being able to set a persistent LD_LIBRARY_PATH is a pain, because it won’t take if set in the ~/.profile or ~/.bash_profile or ~/.bash_rc config files (I’m not so sure about ~/.pam_environment) – which you can read about here: https://help.ubuntu.com/community/EnvironmentVariables.

There’s a fix which involves disabling ssh-agent in this bug report (see post #21 here), but really for the sake of a two line launcher script I think it’s best to just leave it be.

Happy mining and crafting! =D

I got a new phone the other day (a Samsung Galaxy S3), so I was looking for fun things to play on it when I found a great retrocollect article about emulation on Android which lists the best emulators for all of the different emulated systems.

As it happens, from July 14th 2012 to July 28th 2012 (or thereabouts) there’s a stack of free *oid emulators available – usually you have to pay for the full versions (which have save-game support), but for a while they’re free – so why not? =D

So if you’re interested, you can get all the apps in the list below for the low, low price of absolutely nothing before approx. July 28th 2012:

• Ataroid (Atari 2600 emulator): here,
• Gameboid (Gameboy Advance emulator): here,
• GBCoid (Gameboy / Gameboy Colour emulator): here,
• Gearoid (Sega Gamegear emulator): here,
• Gensoid (Sega Genesis / Megadrive emulator): here,
• NESoid (Nintendo Entertainment System emulator): here, and
• SNESoid (Super Nintendo Entertainment System emulator): here.

Winning!

Also, if you’re interested in arcade emulation with MAME there’s the free MAME4droid applications:

• MAME4droid – based on MAME 0.37b5: here, and
• MAME4droid Reloaded – based on MAME 0.139: here

The difference in the above two version of MAME are in regard to what version of MAME they’re based on (as I’m sure you’ve worked out) – but what this actually means might be a little less clear.

In essence, the MAME 0.375b is based on a version of MAME circa July 2000 – and this version was chosen because it came before the big MAME re-write. This means that the 0.37b5 version of MAME was the pinnacle of MAME development when the developers chose speed over emulation accuracy. MAME4droid supports around 2000 ROMs, which will have to be the right format for the 0.37b5 version of MAME, and there’s no (and never will be any) save/load game support.

The MAME4droid Reloaded version on the other hand is based on 0.139 MAME code (circa 2010), which means that it’s a lot more accurate, but it’s either going to be slower or you’re going to need a beast of a phone to run many games at full tilt – we’re talking about having a dual-core phone as the minimum. MAME4droid Reloaded supports around 8000 ROMs, which this time you can save/load as your wish, and (again) these ROMs will have to be in the right format for the 0.139 version of MAME.

As you might expect, it’s horses for courses – need save/load support and got a high-end phone? Pick reloaded. Lower end phone or game-o-choice not running fast enough? Try out the original.

Emulators for other systems

The list of systems above is in no way exhaustive, as there are emulators for many other systems like the N64, Atari ST, MSX, PC Engine, Playstation – and even the Bandai Wonderswan! Quite!

For a fuller looking list of emulators available on Android, you could do worse than try this AndroidForums post. Just be aware that many emulators are paid apps, or you can get the “Lite” versions which either don’t allow you to save your games or come with a ton of bundled adware rubbish to pollute your phone.

Finding and converting ROMs

As ROMs for old game systems live in a somewhat grey area of the law as to whether they’re legal to download and use or not, you’re going to have to use Google to track them down on your own. Generally, the older the game, the less anyone’s going to care about you downloading and playing it.

Games for most old systems that work on any standard PC-based emulator should work exactly the same on the Android based emulators with no modification required.

The ROMs for arcade games on MAME though are a little bit different, as the version of MAME that you use will determine which version of the ROM you need. Thankfully, there’s only really two main options between the 0.37b5 versions and the more up-to-date versions, and in general you can use tools like clrmamepro to convert the ROMs between formats.

Input

Trying to use a touchscreen as a joystick or gamepad is like trying to use a Dreamcast fishing rod to play a fighting game – and it’s a lot harder to pull off a Shoryuken with the fishing rod… So what can we do about it? As it turns out, quite a lot – if you want to use a controller, the chances are that you can get it to work with a suitable amount of research.

The Sony Xperia Play phones come with their own built-in joypad on the slide-down tray, but if you don’t have one of those, then you can still connect bluetooth devices like Nintendo wiimotes, PS3 Six-Axis controllers and XBox 360 controllers* as long as you have a compatible Bluetooth stack on your phone. Older Android phones (certainly my old HTC Desire) didn’t have a suitably functional bluetooth stack by default, but you could get one by installing a CyanogenMod ROM onto the phone. You could probably also use a mini/microUSB-to-USB connector for any standard USB joysticks or gamepads.

* = Wired Xbox 360 controllers aren’t a problem – wireless 360 controllers on the other hand require a USB-dongle, which itself needs drivers which may or may not be available for your device. In fact, from what I’ve seen, unless you have a Motorola Xoom tablet you could well be out of luck for wireless 360 connectivity.

Anyways, for those with a wish to play emulated games using a controller, try:

• For PS3 SixAxis: SixAxis,
• For Nintendo Wii wiimotes: Wii Controller IME,
• For standard USB/BT joysticks or gamepads (inc. Wiimotes, wired 360 controllers etc): USB/BT Joystick Center 6,

Output

A small screen is fine to play games on if that’s all you’ve got – but the chances are that you’ve probably got access to a big Plasma/LCD/LED screen with a HDMI input, too. So why not use that?

Skip to the 24 minute mark to see N64oid on the big screen with a wireless controller!

You’ll need an appropriate cable for your phone (usually some form of microUSB to HDMI converter), for the Samsung Galaxy S3 it’s what’s termed a MHL cable – which’ll set you back about $50AUD or thereabouts.

Also, with a phone to HDMI cable, you’ll be able to watch NBA.TV or any streaming video on the big screen from your phone instead of linking up to a laptop or whatever you currently do (unless you’ve got some kind of VNC/Mediaplayer solution up and running – in which case I envy you and would like to know what software you use!).

Honourable Mentions (other best-in-class free emulators)

Missing Sir Clive’s baby? Try the free Sinclair Spectrum emulator Marvin.
Yearning for Chucky Egg? Beebdroid to the rescue =P
Want to perform the woman’s move in IK+? (crouching punch to the nuts!) – try the Commodore 64 emulator Frodo.
Craving some Speedball or Xenon 2? There’s even an Android port of the Ubiquitous Amiga Emulator (UAE) called UAE4droid.

Come to think of it, I’m getting quite the hankering for some It Came From The Desert, or maybe Supercars II…

Emulation – you’ve just gotta love it =D